Monday, June 30, 2008

On the Road Back to Normal

The rough patch I mentioned in my last post turned into a crisis. The past two weeks were filled with dealing with my parents (80 and 82, both with mild to moderate dementia, and no longer able to live on their own), finding and settling them into an assisted living facility near me (against their completely unrealistic wishes), and getting guardianship over both of them (because there simply was no other acceptable alternative). Trust me when I say I'm leaving out myriad details ranging from unpleasant to very painful.

If there is any lesson here, it's that everyone (including me!) should put together a will and durable power of attorney for finances and for health care. Do it now! And then discuss with your children or other relatives realistic alternatives for your living accommodations and care should you become incapacitated. It will save you and your loved ones from most of what we went through, and will save you money, too (guardianship proceedings in Wisconsin cost at least $2500 per person).  

Anyway, now I'm working long hours to make up for lots of lost work time, and I haven't touched a needle for the last week and a half, or even read my favorite blogs. The good news is that the past few days, since the family stuff has begun to calm down, I've been thinking about quilts again---my red linen fabrics and my cotton twills, getting more hand quilting done, and wondering what everyone has been up to lately. 


5 comments:

Lazy Gal Tonya said...

sounds rough - glad you've gotten through it. I keep thinking we need to get our Wills done, d'oh. hope you can squeeze in some quilting time!

Quilt Pixie said...

they may not aknowledge out loud that you love them, but know that your actions on behalf of your parents are a testament to your love. Stay strong.

quiltmom said...

Hi Meg,
it is hard to do what you have recently experienced- my heart goes out to you. Last summer we placed my mother in law into care as she has Alzheimers. It was a difficult decision especially for my father in law who had been married to her for 63 years. Your parents will know that you have helped and supported them and loved them always. Take care of yourself on this journey.
Regards from a Western Canadian Quilter,
Anna

jude said...

i am soooo understanding this. sent you some linens, hope you get the package soon.

Quiltdivajulie said...

Ohmygoodness... you have definitely been through a VERY rough patch.... my sister and I dealt with the decline and ultimate move of my mother (moderate dementia) to the Alzheimer's wing of a facility ...

It is SO hard... my heart goes out to you... Please give yourself credit that you have done these hard and necessary things out of love and concern for their safety.

I absolutely and completely support your statement that everyone (repeat, EVERY one) needs to complete their advanced care documents (living will, general power of attorney AND power of attorney for healthcare - not to mention your last will and testament). You can always change the terms as life dictates, so there is no (repeat, NO) reason to wait.

Please find time to breathe deeply, maybe fondle some fabric (even if you don't have time to stitch yet), and know that many prayers are with you on this journey.

Take care...